FALL

You know I can’t resist it. It is capital letters FALL out there, finally.

I spent the past week in Columbus, Ohio, being reminded that people live in cities other than New York. Which is really nice to be reminded of. There is life outside this island. Came back to play with the kitten and take in an evening of jazz with L, as an early birthday present pour moi.

Stress seems to be gone with the humidity, and even though I still don’t know what to do with my life, it isn’t so pressing anymore. I’m only 23 (almost) and I have time. I’ll be spending that time knitting a scarf, reading the new Russell Banks (it isn’t out yet) and watching seasons 2 and 3 of Veronica Mars, if you need me.

They’ve all come to look for America.

There was a hammock. And a barn. There were wildflowers to be cut and put in a basket, and cats basking in the sun to be played with. Bread and all manner of baked goods to be baked and genuine amber waves of grain (and corn) literally as far as the eye could see. The air was clean and the trucks were red. It was hard to come back to the city.

I couldn’t sleep my first night back. I was alone and it was too noisy. After almost week of being lulled to bed by crickets, the sirens didn’t seem like a fair trade. The past week I’ve still been operating on midwest time, where life moves slower. My phone keeps ringing and emails keep popping up, people with problems wanting to talk and be advised and all I want to do is find the sunny spot in the yard and read with B. Alas, no more yard, and B is now trying on wedded bliss.

So now I am catching up to east coast time, trying to decide how long I can stand the city before I break out for unknown country.

go west, young man

Tomorrow I depart for parts unknown (to me). The ‘thumb’ of Michigan more specifically, a place that according to google maps is nothing but fields for miles. Good thing I love B. I wouldn’t be tramping out to the midwest for just anyone.

The pre-wedding checklist is almost complete, and I am almost on my way. All that remains is a mani/pedi, last minute Duane Reade stop, and, oh yeah, packing. My room, I imagine, will look like a chick-lit novel has exploded, all dresses and shoes and bobby pins. And dramamine, I don’t fly well.

I’m excited, not just for the wedding, but for a reunion with B and a vacation from New York. Things feel icky here right now, and I need a change, even if it means stepping over the edge into adulthood. But at least I’ll be doing it in style, in a floor length chocolate gown and pearls.

aerial

Through an airplane window, New Mexico is an afghan. Blocks of coordinating oranges, browns and tans, interupted by tufts of green like tassles defining the property. It is landscapes like this that remind me that there is a ‘rest of the world’ outside New York. That even though I exist in a thirty block area, there are blocks beyond that, and plains and rivers and mountains. And cacti.

And when you stop talking, all you can hear is quiet. No cars, no sirens, nothing but the occasional owl.

From the air, Manhattan is a graveyard. Buildings huddled like crowded tombstones on a too small plot of land. And we New Yorkers, we are the walking dead, I suppose. That’s what it felt like last night, trudging through six inches of snow, hidden beneath a hood and umbrella, avoiding eye contact with my fellow living deceased.

But when I go to sleep, cocooned in the coffin of my bed, I dream of a past life in oranges, and reds, and mountains and sky.

then Seattle

Since moving to New York, I’ve been torn between wanting to be a tourist and wanting to fit in with the natives. The result? I go to the Tree Lighting but not the Times Square ball drop (and I wouldn’t even if you paid me). But if being a tourist means I get to really see the big stuff in New York, then sign me up.

Visiting new cities is a relief because I don’t care about being that idiot with the map, walking down the street looking up to see the city. Seattle was beautiful. It looks just like it does on Grey’s Anatomy, too. Pine trees everywhere you look, and a cool wind that reminds you you’re near water. Oh, and it smells like fish.

I ate a lot of good food, a lot of hotel breakfasts, and spent way too much time smiling. The space needle was a bit of a disappointment, but still pretty, and the Science Fiction museum was great, if you’re into that. I wish I had pictures of the storm troopers from the Random House party, but I forgot my camera that night.

Apologies for the boringness of this entry.

Chicago first

I thought I had been cold before. I’ve lived in Pennsylvania and New England. Walked home through woods and snow and ice. I was once even encased in snow while waiting for a ride during a snow storm in Boston. And I was born in a blizzard. So you see, I have plenty of reasons to think I’ve been cold. But I was so wrong. So, so wrong. I have never been cold like I was cold in Chicago. I wasn’t just shivering, my whole body was shaking. Chicago does not joke around. It was 12 degrees out.

And it was snowing. Big white flakes to catch on your tongue (believe me, I tried) and brush off your nose.

All in all, Chicago was wonderful. I spent my time playing with a dog, sleeping, watching tv with Patrickmybrother and of course, catching snowflakes.