Summer approaches, and once again I find myself unprepared. I finally bought a bathing suit, and promised myself I’d wake up every morning and do pilates to tone my core. Instead, when my early alarm goes off I wake up, check the weather, decide it’s too cold to be awake, and go back to bed until my real alarm.
I could deal with the squishy middle, if it weren’t bookended by pasty extremities. It’s not my fault I’m so pale, it’s in my genetics. I’m mostly Russian (Motherland!) and I’m pretty sure they don’t even have the sun there. Add some Polish and Irish and you get lovely blonde hair and pasty white skin. Sadface. So lately I’ve been using one of those moisturizers that’s supposed to make you gradually tan, only the brand I used smelled awful, so I switched today. But I just noticed that I’m sparkly all over. White and sparkly. And I can’t help think of Jezebel’s coverage of all things Twilight, wherein they refer to Edward as a sparkly vampire.
Here’s hoping no once notices my circa-1996 skin.
