Obligatory guy hating post.

A few weeks ago my wandering took me into Barnes and Noble, specifically to the ‘Subway Reading’ table, my favorite area despite the fact that I never take the subway. Really it’s just a bunch of new (and old) paperbacks perfect for slipping into a shoulder bag. But I digress. A guy (with an accent I couldn’t place) started talking to me, asking me about Gabriel Garcia Marquez, and whether he was any good. I said yes (without mentioning I work for the publisher) and suggested Love in the Time of Cholera. “But I am buying it as a gift for a girl, and she has romantic feelings for me and I don’t want her to think I have any feelings for her.” The way he said it, he wasn’t doing it to save her feelings, but to save himself.

He ended up buying her One Hundred Years of Solitude.

While standing in line at the grocery store I overheard the following phone conversation
Guy: She’s great socially, but I can’t, like, talk to her about the news or anything…current events and stuff….Well I like Abby better than Mia, but Mia’s hot…dude you so do not want to call her, she’ll never leave you alone, trust me, I know…I know I know, but Mia’s hotter, so what if she doesn’t know about the world?

He was buying 4 boxes of spaghetti and a loaf of frozen garlic bread.

Nothing like a glimpse into the guy psyche to remind you why most (some?) guys suck.

As for my personal interactions with the opposite sex, I’ll settle for the “Que bonita” from the delivery guy.

going green (not that kind of green)

College is one of those magical places were people all over the country collide and learn about what it’s like in places that are away from where they grew up. My friends from California were constantly confused by cold weather despite bright sunshine, and how wet snow was. Sure, they’d seen snow, but only because every winter they would pile into the car and “go to the snow” (this was an actual phrase a friend once used–”Well sometimes in December we go to the snow.”) I never understood this, never understood living in a place where natural variety didn’t exist.

And now I’m a hypocrite. Because every weekend, when the weather’s nice, I find myself going to the green. I now spend hours on a saturday afternoon laying on a towel in Central Park, pulling grass up and wishing I had appreciated the lush lawn I grew up with, now that I live in the city.

After a few months away from East Bumble, I almost forget what it’s like in the suburbs. Every weekend at home I’m drawn to the windows like a moth to light and I have to squash the distinct urge to run outside and roll down the hill in my front yard because it’s all so unbearably green out there. Central Park has nothing on my yard.

I think a change would do you good.

I don’t normally put too much stock in horoscopes or astrology. I love to read about it, and someday, if I get up the guts, I’d like to have my palm read. That being said, lately my horoscopes have been dead on. I’m not sayng they predict the future or anything like that, but that they were exactly what I needed to hear at exactly the right time.

Exhibit A:
“It’s very rare to know you’re at a turning point — usually most of us only realize such things in hindsight. However, all this knowledge might actually keep you from making a choice. Follow your instincts and go for it.”

This is my year. I’ve been saying it since October, when I turned 22 on the 22nd. It’s my year, and maybe it’s time for me to grow a set and follow my instincts.

loyalty

There are two types of people who walk away. There are people who walk away to get away from you. And there are people who walk away to see if you’ll follow. Passive agressive though it may be, I fall into the latter category. Mostly. I am one of those people who will push you away because I want you to come back. Because then if you don’t, at least I was the one who did the pushing. It’s a test, I realize. A dirty trick. But it’s my way.

I’m the same with the phone. I won’t call you. Ever. If we have plans and I don’t hear from you, I won’t call. My dad, dispenser of infinite wisdom, always warned me of the danger of my ways. “Kiddo, if you don’t call them, they’ll think you don’t want to see them. They’ll wonder why you’re never calling them to make plans.” I know he’s right. But the thing is, if you do call, even though you never hear from me, and if you keep calling me, you’ll have me for life. That’s my way.